I know it's been a while since I last posted and to tell you the truth I don't even remember what I posted about!!! So forgive me for being lazy and quite possibly posting about the same topic. But first some back story before I get into what I want to talk about. Wait! I remember now what I wrote about last.....Star Trek and Bikram yoga! Of course how could I ever forget!
I've been a little insightfully frustrated upon returning to regular life after the yoga bubble. I think I am just forgetting how long it does take one, precisely this one, to return to a "normal" state of being after going through Bikram Yoga Teacher Training. Loads of teachers told us not to expect our lives, minds and/or especially your practice to return to anything resembling "normal" for at least 6 months after training. So current Spring trainees take heed.....It takes a while and how long is a while is a totally personal experience. I am trying not to be too hard on myself as that has been my MO my whole life. Be skinnier. Be smarter. Be cooler. Be (insert the blank). I would find anything possible to tell myself I wasn't good enough. It wasn't until I started my Bikram practice that I started actually seeing myself and shedding those onion layers. I'm not perfect in that realm but I am way farther in self acceptance than I ever thought I'd be and I do believe teaching has propelled that aspect of my new self in a HUGE way. I think I am trying to live up to my once a week postings I was doing before I went to training and then while I was in training. Fact of the matter is that I don't have the time like I used to; it's not that I am not inspired. On the contrary, I think I am a little over inspired and not quite sure how to put it into words you know. So I think for now, I might just commit to a once a month posting and go from there.
Now....the topic at hand. STUDENTS!!!!!!! I come to realize each and every time I teach that it is all for them, both current and potential students. I LEARN SO MUCH FROM YOU GUYS!!!!!!!! It's redonculous really. (sorry, I'm trying to work that word in wherever I can) I learn something new each and every time I teach and it is from the students, not my own self proselytizing. The first thing I think is so cool is when I have a first timer in the room, I love them they listen and try so well. We will be in a posture and I will think I should tell them to do X and then that part of the dialogue comes out and they do X and whoa la they the right form and thus are getting all the right benefits for their body. I'm continually amazed at the power of the dialogue. For all those trainees out there reading and doubting or wondering, "why-o-why must I say this crazy shit I'm gonna sound like an idiot". Well, you will understand why when you start teaching. So use it.
The other thing I have been really impressed with are students focus and patience. For example, there is a regular 6AM MON-FRI homie who I have the pleasure to teach thurs and fris when I teach the 6AMs. His patience and focus is something I try to take into my own practice. When I feel fidgety and frustrated and anxious I think of him and try to calm my mind, breathe and focus on myself in the front mirror. His patience is also something I admire. (Again, he is an example, I see this in others as well) He has been very patient with Standing Head 2 Knee posture and it has paid off big. He stayed in the first part of the posture for what seemed like forever. There were a few times in class before he started kicking out that I wanted to tell him to do so because his standing leg was locked and Bikram says, "if you can, you must". Then he started kicking out! His standing leg stays locked and his kicking out leg is almost locked out as well. It is truly a beautifully inspiring thing to witness. I just feel so blessed to be able to teach and be a part of other people's practice. I think the coolest things about teaching is that I get to take what I see in their practice and try to incorporate it into mine. They are the real teachers.....not me.
We end our classes by saying Namaste. Which is sanscrit and has many different translations. The one translation I take away from it is the divine in me respects the divine within you. My light sees and respects your light....that sort of new agey thing. So mega namaste to all my students, whether you are regulars or just came to one of my classes, cause I learn something from you guys each and every time I'm on the podium sweatin it out with ya. You guys ROCK! And are the only reason I do what I do. So, thanks for making it possible cause without you I'd be lost.