Holy shit balls batman! I only have 17 days of work left before teacher training. Holy shit balls man! This number would be a whole heck of a lot higher but I work 12 hour days so I'm only at work 3 days/week, which is nice even though it is still the same amount of hours. That is not very many days at all and I have since seen a change in attitude at work as well. There is light at the end of the tunnel for me here at Swedish hospital and that makes my heart feel so very very light. It is becoming more and more apparent that I will not be able to teach full time upon my return from TT. The studio is really full of teachers right now and I don't see that changing in the short time between now and my return from TT. So, what am I going to do when I get back from training about supplementing the other part of my income. I think the answer will be I will stay at the hospital until full time teaching, which to me is 8 classes or more/week (preferably at least 10). There are loads of other things I could do besides working at the hospital, but I think staying here would be a smart financial move for me. They match my 401K, my medical benefits, vacation time, high pay rate. All those things are too much of a positive incentive for me to try and get a minimum wage job. Those are the hardest anyways. I thought about trying to get a bakery job or something at like High 5 Pie or a coffee shop somewhere near my place. To tell you the truth I'm still thinking about which option will be best for me both mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Minimum wage jobs are hard ass work man. No joke. They really should get paid a shit ton more for all the work. It's not easy. So, I'm thinking I will do the responsible thing and keep my shitty hospital job until full time teaching becomes available to me.
Katty, another blogging fall 2011 teacher trainee, recently blogged about there being 51 days left until the big check in day. Wow. It sounds like such a small small number compared to the year ago date when I decided to go. Crazy. There was a minor bank snafu yesterday and so I was unable to make my final payment. But it will happen Monday, the day final payment is due to secure your spot. And the rest will be history. It has been very stressful and emotional saving for this. It has taught me great lessons for sure and now I know that I can save and budget for big stuff. Aside from moving 2 people to Seattle from California about 4.5 years ago on 1 persons job, I have never considered myself "good" with money. After saving for TT, I now consider myself good with money. I know how to live on little and don't mind doing so. Despite this, I am soooo looking forward to not having to save for TT.
I'm not sure how relevant this whole post is other than to display my huge mega awesome excitement about TT!!!!!! I don't feel like I have any epiphanies to share or anything like that. Just felt like checking in with my followers and the universe. So thanks for listening and I hope all you guys are enjoying your weekend and your yoga!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
I'm There
Wow, so a few things I forgot I wanted to talk about in my last post. So I'll just post again. Kat has taught me that it's more than acceptable reading multiple posts for one day. Love all her entries!
So, this week marks 8 weeks til teacher training. 8 WEEKS PEOPLE!!!! Sounds kinda like a long time but it's not and I feel like there is so much to do!!!!!! All that I feel like doing is practicing, studying dialogue and hanging out with my little family. There isn't enough time in the world for my family and the more time I spend with them the more clingy I get to them. I really hope I am too tired, sore and busy to think about how much I will miss them during the 9 weeks while I am away. I know they will be cheering them on from the bleachers, but still, it'll be hard not being near them let alone sleeping alone. At the end of this week I get paid and will be able to make my final payment for TT!!!!!! So very very very excited about this part. This means this is it, I'm going. I mean, of course, I've always been going. But this is another step towards reaching that goal and it feels so right on the money. It feels so good to be following my heart.
I've already been having slight panic dreams. The other day I dreamt I got pregs and was unable to attend TT. I was D-E-V-A-S-T-A-T-E-D. Especially since we don't want to have children. My mom says she keeps dreaming of me in rabbit pose. This from someone with not really any yoga background to speak on. And Rabbit is one of my favorite postures. Crazy. I think my mother is having panic dreams of a different kind though. On the one hand she is really proud of me for following my dreams. But she is also very nervous for me. She thinks it's important to have a job where you get employer contributed retirement plan options, medical/dental benefits and vaca/sick pay. Those things ARE important, but they are also things that my employer is trying to take away and it happens every single time they have to renegotiate a contract. They try and get rid of the pension (I don't have that option available anymore just a 401K) and make you pay more for medical benefits, especially if you have kids or other types of dependents. If the current contract management is purposing goes through they will freeze wages, stop matching contributions to retirement plans and make single people pay $80-$150/month with families paying $300-$600 for medical! Wow! I can tell you that it would most definitely hurt my pocketbook to have to pay that much for medical insurance, I can't imagine what people with dependents are thinking. So jobs with those sorts of benefits are slowly dwindling. The age of working somewhere for 20+ years is fastly ending. It's sad no doubt, but these are the effects of Capitalism and the whole axis of evil Washington controls. My waxer said it best when we were talking about having a job you feel fulfilled and happy to be at. She said something to the effect like, "at least I'm not working at Chase".
I've already started a little packing list for TT. And thanks to Danielle, over at Namaste or Should I Go, I have a better idea of what to bring. The man had me throw away my yoga matt recently cause it was stinking up the apartment. Danielle said it would be a good idea to have 2 matts so that one would be drying while you could use the other one. Makes sense. Also need to include a drying rack, which I will pick up there, for bathtub washing action. I was planning on bringing my hot water kettle and now I'm glad I'm planning on it cause she said it was a life saver. I'm a pretty thrifty person in general and I think I can really give the thrifty-ness a good run at TT. Meals out will be a once a week type thing and there will be the occasional fun time out on the weekends. But nothing too extravagant because I don't have credit cards (thank god) and I also don't have an endless supply of money (not so thank god). Since I want to make teaching full time a priority I need to come home to some cash flow too. Danielle was saying how important it was to financially plan for it. My mom and I invested a couple thousand in the stock market that's doing pretty good and hopefully it will be a bit of a life saver when we can cash some of it out. That will def be a big help for when I'm there as well as when I'm back. If any other readers out there has any other tips or tricks for TT prep it would be great to hear about it.
So, this week marks 8 weeks til teacher training. 8 WEEKS PEOPLE!!!! Sounds kinda like a long time but it's not and I feel like there is so much to do!!!!!! All that I feel like doing is practicing, studying dialogue and hanging out with my little family. There isn't enough time in the world for my family and the more time I spend with them the more clingy I get to them. I really hope I am too tired, sore and busy to think about how much I will miss them during the 9 weeks while I am away. I know they will be cheering them on from the bleachers, but still, it'll be hard not being near them let alone sleeping alone. At the end of this week I get paid and will be able to make my final payment for TT!!!!!! So very very very excited about this part. This means this is it, I'm going. I mean, of course, I've always been going. But this is another step towards reaching that goal and it feels so right on the money. It feels so good to be following my heart.
I've already been having slight panic dreams. The other day I dreamt I got pregs and was unable to attend TT. I was D-E-V-A-S-T-A-T-E-D. Especially since we don't want to have children. My mom says she keeps dreaming of me in rabbit pose. This from someone with not really any yoga background to speak on. And Rabbit is one of my favorite postures. Crazy. I think my mother is having panic dreams of a different kind though. On the one hand she is really proud of me for following my dreams. But she is also very nervous for me. She thinks it's important to have a job where you get employer contributed retirement plan options, medical/dental benefits and vaca/sick pay. Those things ARE important, but they are also things that my employer is trying to take away and it happens every single time they have to renegotiate a contract. They try and get rid of the pension (I don't have that option available anymore just a 401K) and make you pay more for medical benefits, especially if you have kids or other types of dependents. If the current contract management is purposing goes through they will freeze wages, stop matching contributions to retirement plans and make single people pay $80-$150/month with families paying $300-$600 for medical! Wow! I can tell you that it would most definitely hurt my pocketbook to have to pay that much for medical insurance, I can't imagine what people with dependents are thinking. So jobs with those sorts of benefits are slowly dwindling. The age of working somewhere for 20+ years is fastly ending. It's sad no doubt, but these are the effects of Capitalism and the whole axis of evil Washington controls. My waxer said it best when we were talking about having a job you feel fulfilled and happy to be at. She said something to the effect like, "at least I'm not working at Chase".
I've already started a little packing list for TT. And thanks to Danielle, over at Namaste or Should I Go, I have a better idea of what to bring. The man had me throw away my yoga matt recently cause it was stinking up the apartment. Danielle said it would be a good idea to have 2 matts so that one would be drying while you could use the other one. Makes sense. Also need to include a drying rack, which I will pick up there, for bathtub washing action. I was planning on bringing my hot water kettle and now I'm glad I'm planning on it cause she said it was a life saver. I'm a pretty thrifty person in general and I think I can really give the thrifty-ness a good run at TT. Meals out will be a once a week type thing and there will be the occasional fun time out on the weekends. But nothing too extravagant because I don't have credit cards (thank god) and I also don't have an endless supply of money (not so thank god). Since I want to make teaching full time a priority I need to come home to some cash flow too. Danielle was saying how important it was to financially plan for it. My mom and I invested a couple thousand in the stock market that's doing pretty good and hopefully it will be a bit of a life saver when we can cash some of it out. That will def be a big help for when I'm there as well as when I'm back. If any other readers out there has any other tips or tricks for TT prep it would be great to hear about it.
Outdoor With No Mirror
Man, this weekend flew by. Flew by way too fast in my opinion. Yesterday was spent outdoors in the glorious Seattle sunshine! Victory was had by all. It was first a posture clinic, which was super cool, followed by an outdoor class. I've been to a few workshops and posture clinics in my day but it was cool being there as a future trainee. I got a small in depth look at questions some practitioners had, which were good ones. There was also someone there with foot and knee injuries. Those were great questions too. It is so empowering seeing people work through injuries.
The outdoor class was most excellent. Bikram practitioners rarely take their practice outside of a hot room. We just love that intense heat don't we. How can you not. It helps in many many ways. Helps you detoxify and loosen those muscles so you can stretch and pull and stretch and pull everything into alignment. awwww, soooo good. I think another reason we primarily keep our Bikram practice to a hot room are those mirrors man. The mirrors really help balance, coordination and significantly helps foster a mind/body connection. Frankie said something about our awkwards that struck me. She said she noticed some of us sitting lower than we usually do and that it was prolly because we didn't have a mirror in front of us. We couldn't "see" our practice but instead we could only feel the alignment. We weren't using the mirror to tell us where we usually stop. Very intriguing for sure. I have practiced many many times purposefully out of mirror range simply because it's a very different practice when you do so. Sometimes it helps you drop all those voices off at the nearest bus stop out of town. When you do that it is easier to just submerge yourself in your practice and let everything else just fade away naturally. It is also a cool thing to just "feel" your practice rather than see how it feels in the front mirror. Does that make sense?
I'm definitely sore today and it was such a peaceful beautiful day to be outside doing yoga and sharing our energy with all the birds and ants and people that surrounded us. Can't WAIT for the next one in August! Hope you all got to get out and enjoy the summery sunshine that I'm sure is happening everywhere else in the continental US. Oh Seattle, how I love and hate you all at the same time....
The outdoor class was most excellent. Bikram practitioners rarely take their practice outside of a hot room. We just love that intense heat don't we. How can you not. It helps in many many ways. Helps you detoxify and loosen those muscles so you can stretch and pull and stretch and pull everything into alignment. awwww, soooo good. I think another reason we primarily keep our Bikram practice to a hot room are those mirrors man. The mirrors really help balance, coordination and significantly helps foster a mind/body connection. Frankie said something about our awkwards that struck me. She said she noticed some of us sitting lower than we usually do and that it was prolly because we didn't have a mirror in front of us. We couldn't "see" our practice but instead we could only feel the alignment. We weren't using the mirror to tell us where we usually stop. Very intriguing for sure. I have practiced many many times purposefully out of mirror range simply because it's a very different practice when you do so. Sometimes it helps you drop all those voices off at the nearest bus stop out of town. When you do that it is easier to just submerge yourself in your practice and let everything else just fade away naturally. It is also a cool thing to just "feel" your practice rather than see how it feels in the front mirror. Does that make sense?
I'm definitely sore today and it was such a peaceful beautiful day to be outside doing yoga and sharing our energy with all the birds and ants and people that surrounded us. Can't WAIT for the next one in August! Hope you all got to get out and enjoy the summery sunshine that I'm sure is happening everywhere else in the continental US. Oh Seattle, how I love and hate you all at the same time....
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Touched
As I stood in the shower last night, washing the day off my body, the gravity of what I (and hundreds of other people) are about to embark upon in 9 weeks time hit me. Wow. I was touched last night not only on a personal level but also on a group level. I'm so excited to meet my roomie!!!!!!!, to just practice with that many people in one place, to take class from the Boss himself his wife and EMMY CLEAVES, and then my impending teaching career. Wow. Crazy how you put effort towards something, it actually happens. I'm not used to this much follow through on my part. And it feels really really good to be following my heart. I can't imagine what it will be like to center my life around yoga and living a healthy lifestyle and I can't fucking wait!!!!!! This is what living is like. I'm so proud of myself for doing this and it hasn't even started. Well, I guess in a way it has. I have always been on the teacher training path, just didn't notice it til a little bit ago. It is very empowering to be on this path. I feel like everything is going to be ok cause it is. I'm doing it! I'm going to be a Bikram yoga teacher!!!!!! Eep!!!!! Time to study some dialogue....
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Interesting Perspective
What do you love to do? Me...I love yoga, baking, my dogs and the ocean. I also love music, movies and chillin. I have known for years that I don't want to work in health care. In fact, this job was always a job to support me until I was done with college and auditioning for a spot in some orchestra. Well, that didn't really happen for me so I've been stuck at this hospital secretary job for many many years. Too many years really. I have noticed what it has done to me. To my body and my mind. My body is totally H-A-T-I-N-G-I-T right now. I have repetitive stress in my elbow and my back totally hurts me every time I even look at a chair. Needless to say, I am thrilled beyond words to be fastly approaching the end to my hospital career. Thank the sweet sky wizard in heaven!
So, I'm sitting at work looking at an old Vegetarian Times mag that the man brought home for me from the chiro's office. He found some sweet recipes in it for me. So I come across this interview with Russell Simmons, who has been vegan for about 10 years or so. The question prefacing his answer was, "How has your spiritual practice influenced your business practice?" His answer, "...I used to think money was the reward, but they can't pay you enough to make you feel good about something you don't really enjoy. I've found that the more I enjoy giving something that's lasting and promotes happiness, the more lasting happiness I have. It's always evolving and there's always going to be some amount of suffering, but I've found my businesses through giving what I think is good." The part that struck me in this answer is the they can't pay you enough money to feel good about something you don't like doing part. I think because it really fits the way I feel about my job right now. Some people may look at my situation and think I'm crazy go nuts. I mean, I have a stable well paying cushy job. How hard is it to sit and answer phones and call lights politely and get stuff the nurses need, page doctors order supplies. Yeah, it's not hard. Not at all. And my spot here will be vacant and available for people inclined to work those sorts of jobs. But this little Shavi is destined for another path. It just ain't my bag. I mean why do some people decide to be doctors rather than nurses or whatever. Cause being a doctor interests them more than being a nurse. Well, being a Bikram yoga teacher interests me more than being a secretary at a hospital. I've done the whole "good job" gig for like 10 years and it's soulless and unfulfilling. I want to try making a living doing what I love. If I totally hate it then I got some mad secretary skills to fall back on ya hear! (Even though I feel I'm lacking in the good secretary department right about now) I have a really close friend of mine who is in the same predicament as me. She just recently quit her job to pursue her passion of becoming a pilot. So amazingly inspirational! Her job and the relationships within that job just kept deteriorating and she didn't like the person she was at work (same as me I'm a rude snot at work sometimes ain't that right Jude), so she decided to end it. Sever the ties and get her pilots license cause it wasn't working out getting it while she worked. She got a lot of flack from people. "In this economy, how could you!?!" How could you not... I think all the flack is jealousy really, who wouldn't want to quit their job and pursue their dreams right. Life's too short to not. And I get that now. Totally get it. And more power to us and those who are brave enough to say fuck the system, I'm going rogue! Now there's the little punker I used to know...
The way I look at it too is that if other people can support themselves being a yoga teacher then I certainly can too. And I'm sure there will be times when I don't want to teach, but I'd rather go to yoga work when I don't wanna than hospital work any day of the week. I'm trying not to hope too much that I will be able to teach full time directly out of TT simply because I don't want to be too heartbroken. But I will be teaching, that is a given which means I will need this job less. The less time I spend in the hospital the better. What I do know is that it is certain that within a year of TT graduation I will be able to teach full time and not work here anymore. That much makes my little heart smile bigger than the state of Washington.
The other thing I have noticed through working in a hospital is that I do care about people. I used to think, aw shit who am I kidding, sometimes I really hate humanity and what people do to each other. It's a sad scary world out there sometimes. It feels as though people typically use their powers for evil rather than good. Even I do sometimes cause I look way better in all black. But seriously though...we can build crazy powerful bombs and fly to the moon and back, but don't ask us to solve the social rubrics cube of hunger, homelessness and illiteracy. Heaven forbid we provide for others while providing for ourselves. Instead countries would rather kill each other and factory farm animals and lace our produce with known carcinogens. And don't get me started on all the trash. Ok, I'm loosing myself to a tangent. The other day I was on the oncology floor and I was premenstrual so feeling kinda bummed already. I just went home feeling like everyone gets cancer and dies a shitty miserable death. I talked it out with the man when I got home and he thinks it's cause I care. Wait a minute! Hold the press! Doom Metal Shavi cares!?!?!?!?! Indeed I do. I care enough that other people's troubles trouble me. And it's not cause I hope that doesn't happen to me. I care cause that shit sucks man and I don't wish a slow miserable early cancer death upon anyone. I never thought of it that way. But now it has kinda opened my mind a little more to the reasons behind my Bikram passion. I care enough about people to want to help them heal their hearts the way I have through Bikram yoga. Interesting perspective, no?...
So, I'm sitting at work looking at an old Vegetarian Times mag that the man brought home for me from the chiro's office. He found some sweet recipes in it for me. So I come across this interview with Russell Simmons, who has been vegan for about 10 years or so. The question prefacing his answer was, "How has your spiritual practice influenced your business practice?" His answer, "...I used to think money was the reward, but they can't pay you enough to make you feel good about something you don't really enjoy. I've found that the more I enjoy giving something that's lasting and promotes happiness, the more lasting happiness I have. It's always evolving and there's always going to be some amount of suffering, but I've found my businesses through giving what I think is good." The part that struck me in this answer is the they can't pay you enough money to feel good about something you don't like doing part. I think because it really fits the way I feel about my job right now. Some people may look at my situation and think I'm crazy go nuts. I mean, I have a stable well paying cushy job. How hard is it to sit and answer phones and call lights politely and get stuff the nurses need, page doctors order supplies. Yeah, it's not hard. Not at all. And my spot here will be vacant and available for people inclined to work those sorts of jobs. But this little Shavi is destined for another path. It just ain't my bag. I mean why do some people decide to be doctors rather than nurses or whatever. Cause being a doctor interests them more than being a nurse. Well, being a Bikram yoga teacher interests me more than being a secretary at a hospital. I've done the whole "good job" gig for like 10 years and it's soulless and unfulfilling. I want to try making a living doing what I love. If I totally hate it then I got some mad secretary skills to fall back on ya hear! (Even though I feel I'm lacking in the good secretary department right about now) I have a really close friend of mine who is in the same predicament as me. She just recently quit her job to pursue her passion of becoming a pilot. So amazingly inspirational! Her job and the relationships within that job just kept deteriorating and she didn't like the person she was at work (same as me I'm a rude snot at work sometimes ain't that right Jude), so she decided to end it. Sever the ties and get her pilots license cause it wasn't working out getting it while she worked. She got a lot of flack from people. "In this economy, how could you!?!" How could you not... I think all the flack is jealousy really, who wouldn't want to quit their job and pursue their dreams right. Life's too short to not. And I get that now. Totally get it. And more power to us and those who are brave enough to say fuck the system, I'm going rogue! Now there's the little punker I used to know...
The way I look at it too is that if other people can support themselves being a yoga teacher then I certainly can too. And I'm sure there will be times when I don't want to teach, but I'd rather go to yoga work when I don't wanna than hospital work any day of the week. I'm trying not to hope too much that I will be able to teach full time directly out of TT simply because I don't want to be too heartbroken. But I will be teaching, that is a given which means I will need this job less. The less time I spend in the hospital the better. What I do know is that it is certain that within a year of TT graduation I will be able to teach full time and not work here anymore. That much makes my little heart smile bigger than the state of Washington.
The other thing I have noticed through working in a hospital is that I do care about people. I used to think, aw shit who am I kidding, sometimes I really hate humanity and what people do to each other. It's a sad scary world out there sometimes. It feels as though people typically use their powers for evil rather than good. Even I do sometimes cause I look way better in all black. But seriously though...we can build crazy powerful bombs and fly to the moon and back, but don't ask us to solve the social rubrics cube of hunger, homelessness and illiteracy. Heaven forbid we provide for others while providing for ourselves. Instead countries would rather kill each other and factory farm animals and lace our produce with known carcinogens. And don't get me started on all the trash. Ok, I'm loosing myself to a tangent. The other day I was on the oncology floor and I was premenstrual so feeling kinda bummed already. I just went home feeling like everyone gets cancer and dies a shitty miserable death. I talked it out with the man when I got home and he thinks it's cause I care. Wait a minute! Hold the press! Doom Metal Shavi cares!?!?!?!?! Indeed I do. I care enough that other people's troubles trouble me. And it's not cause I hope that doesn't happen to me. I care cause that shit sucks man and I don't wish a slow miserable early cancer death upon anyone. I never thought of it that way. But now it has kinda opened my mind a little more to the reasons behind my Bikram passion. I care enough about people to want to help them heal their hearts the way I have through Bikram yoga. Interesting perspective, no?...
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Bake Sale Fail
Well folks, I've decided to call off the bake sale. I'm just too worn out and beat lately. I haven't had a whole lot of time to myself and my family and just had to give in to those feelings. Sometimes that's what it's like, I'm learning. I'm learning that it's not really worth it to add a lot to your schedule, to your life. Life goes by quick enough on its own and I'm slowly learning how to best manage my time and what is most important to me.
So, what is most important to me? My little family, teacher training, yoga practice, watching star trek and taking it easy. The taking it easy bit is so I can have enough energy to do all the other stuff. I don't want to spread myself too thin having too much on my plate to really enough what is there. So, the bake sale takes the hit. And I'm ok with that and I feel a lot better too. There is not so much pressure now. Now there is more time for dialogue studying! Which is coming along swimmingly. I'm already through eagle! One of my favorite poses.
This topic also relates to Bikram yoga practice. D'uh There are often times in class when the teacher reminds us to stay still. The addition of extra movements impedes the physical process of the yoga. It will take longer for your heart rate to return to normal and receive the medical benefits of the postures and often times doesn't help your mind anyways. This is a practice I need to take off my matt for sure. When I add unnecessary "stuff" to my life practice I get overwhelmed and exhausted very easily. It is hard to see the purpose to all the "stuff" when you are feeling overwhelmed and tired. Same thing to all the extra stuff we add to our Bikram practice. Wiping the sweat, adjusting our costume, drinking water all impede the process but sometimes we have to try all those options before we can actually see it for ourselves. I still try those things sometimes during practice. Sometimes the hardest part of my practice is accepting what I'm going through and not reacting to it. Sometimes the hardest thing we do in Bikram yoga practice is laying in savasana while others are in posture. It feels defeating and, at times, shameful. But what is honorable about being in savasana during posture is that you are listening to your body and abiding by it. You are supposed to have those moments, just like all other moments.
While the bake sale is not extra stuff for me. I love having bake sales! I love pawning my baked goods on others. It's one of my most basic joys. But it is too much for my schedule right now and so it must be put off until another date. Who knows, maybe I will feel ready to have one in August or something. If I do ti will certainly be at Cake Spy. But I plan on just waiting to see what my life is indicating at that moment. This is a HUGE step in what I am calling the right direction. Go me!
So, what is most important to me? My little family, teacher training, yoga practice, watching star trek and taking it easy. The taking it easy bit is so I can have enough energy to do all the other stuff. I don't want to spread myself too thin having too much on my plate to really enough what is there. So, the bake sale takes the hit. And I'm ok with that and I feel a lot better too. There is not so much pressure now. Now there is more time for dialogue studying! Which is coming along swimmingly. I'm already through eagle! One of my favorite poses.
This topic also relates to Bikram yoga practice. D'uh There are often times in class when the teacher reminds us to stay still. The addition of extra movements impedes the physical process of the yoga. It will take longer for your heart rate to return to normal and receive the medical benefits of the postures and often times doesn't help your mind anyways. This is a practice I need to take off my matt for sure. When I add unnecessary "stuff" to my life practice I get overwhelmed and exhausted very easily. It is hard to see the purpose to all the "stuff" when you are feeling overwhelmed and tired. Same thing to all the extra stuff we add to our Bikram practice. Wiping the sweat, adjusting our costume, drinking water all impede the process but sometimes we have to try all those options before we can actually see it for ourselves. I still try those things sometimes during practice. Sometimes the hardest part of my practice is accepting what I'm going through and not reacting to it. Sometimes the hardest thing we do in Bikram yoga practice is laying in savasana while others are in posture. It feels defeating and, at times, shameful. But what is honorable about being in savasana during posture is that you are listening to your body and abiding by it. You are supposed to have those moments, just like all other moments.
While the bake sale is not extra stuff for me. I love having bake sales! I love pawning my baked goods on others. It's one of my most basic joys. But it is too much for my schedule right now and so it must be put off until another date. Who knows, maybe I will feel ready to have one in August or something. If I do ti will certainly be at Cake Spy. But I plan on just waiting to see what my life is indicating at that moment. This is a HUGE step in what I am calling the right direction. Go me!
Friday, July 8, 2011
No Dragons to Slay
I've been feeling a little off lately. The feeling is passing but I felt it warranted a blog post anyways. This blog is so very therapeutic for me. Something I never expected to come of blogging. So here it goes, a little back story first. A while ago me and the man watched a documentary on big wave surfing. Part of it included Laird Hamilton, who is a world record setting big wave surfer. Big waves do not happen all the time, mainly occurring during tumultuous weather. So he says he gets kinda depressed if he hasn't been able to hit some big waves for a while. His wife was sharing in the documentary that he described the feeling to her once by saying, "it's like being a dragon slayer and there are no dragons to slay". How metal is that!?! What a very cute and very accurate description of the way I have been feeling lately.
Last summer there was the Danskin triathalon, then shortly there after a year to live project and then there was half marathon training which lasted about 6 months for me. And ever since the race ended, and I haven't been in training mode, I have felt a little off. Yes, I have been all this time training for teacher training. But I feel like it's training in a different sense. I'm training to change my life and it's more of a long term goal type thing. These others have been purely physical. While I would love to throw a 30 day challenge in here to gear me up for training, I just don't have the work schedule that permits it. So I think what my next challenge will be, my next training adventure, to learn how to R-E-L-A-X!!!! There is no need for me to be in this constant training mode, other than to fulfill my neurotic tendencies that is. Besides, I've got some dialogue to be studying. And that is training enough man!
And how could I have forgotten about my up coming bake sale!!!!! July 23rd, I will be having a bake sale at Cake Spy shop! So there is tons of prepping involved with that. I need to make and start distributing fliers, prep pie dough, frosting as well as plan what I actually want to have at the bake sale. There will be staples there for sure, coconut lime cupcakes and pie (duh). I'm planning on making a themed bake sale...Cupcake vs. Pi!!!! But I'm also working on some new friends to make their appearance. Vegan Home Run pies are one of them. You know those crappy sorry excuse for pie pockets with a glaze on top that they sell at corner stores. News Flash: they aren't even vegetarian (for all those trashy/lazy vegetarians out there) as they contain animal fats. But they were a staple part of my childhood and I think I have perfected a recipe for them. That's what my neighbors say anyways. hahaha. So, mark your calendars my friends...Shavi Snax and TeachBikramorBust Bake Sale at Cake Spy shop July 23rd 12-5. It'll be loads of fun! I just love spreading my bake sale love. And, no I won't have any gluten free stuff. Just sayin....
Last summer there was the Danskin triathalon, then shortly there after a year to live project and then there was half marathon training which lasted about 6 months for me. And ever since the race ended, and I haven't been in training mode, I have felt a little off. Yes, I have been all this time training for teacher training. But I feel like it's training in a different sense. I'm training to change my life and it's more of a long term goal type thing. These others have been purely physical. While I would love to throw a 30 day challenge in here to gear me up for training, I just don't have the work schedule that permits it. So I think what my next challenge will be, my next training adventure, to learn how to R-E-L-A-X!!!! There is no need for me to be in this constant training mode, other than to fulfill my neurotic tendencies that is. Besides, I've got some dialogue to be studying. And that is training enough man!
And how could I have forgotten about my up coming bake sale!!!!! July 23rd, I will be having a bake sale at Cake Spy shop! So there is tons of prepping involved with that. I need to make and start distributing fliers, prep pie dough, frosting as well as plan what I actually want to have at the bake sale. There will be staples there for sure, coconut lime cupcakes and pie (duh). I'm planning on making a themed bake sale...Cupcake vs. Pi!!!! But I'm also working on some new friends to make their appearance. Vegan Home Run pies are one of them. You know those crappy sorry excuse for pie pockets with a glaze on top that they sell at corner stores. News Flash: they aren't even vegetarian (for all those trashy/lazy vegetarians out there) as they contain animal fats. But they were a staple part of my childhood and I think I have perfected a recipe for them. That's what my neighbors say anyways. hahaha. So, mark your calendars my friends...Shavi Snax and TeachBikramorBust Bake Sale at Cake Spy shop July 23rd 12-5. It'll be loads of fun! I just love spreading my bake sale love. And, no I won't have any gluten free stuff. Just sayin....
Monday, July 4, 2011
Truckin...
So I was finally able to meet up with one of my studio directors for some at home posture clinic action. I WAS SOOOOOOOOO NERVOUS!!!!!!!! But she said I did really really well and that she wasn't worried about me and the dialogue at all. She knows I will learn it good and fast. She wants me to practice saying everything really fast so that I can get the timing a little better. She said if that was me nervous then I'm going to be fine. That's what my teacher friend Sara said too. That is comforting to hear. Soon I will be learning and manning the front desk so that I won't have to learn all that when I get back from TT. All I will have to focus on is teaching. I sure do like the sound of that. As it stands right now their schedule is pretty full with teachers and what not. If I was going to try and teach full time now it wouldn't happen. full time teaching for me would mean anything 8 classes or above. But who knows what will be in store come holiday time after graduation. I sure as hell hope that I won't have to work at Swedish Medical Center ever again. But I'm preparing myself for the unfortunate. It's better that way. I know that within a year I will be able to teach full time and nothing else. That I can most def do.
There's a lot of talk on the fall TT board about our anxieties about upcoming teacher training. No doubt I'm super duper nervous. Most of that is just not knowing what to expect. But knowing that I have a killer roomie is making it all the more easier to swallow. We are planning on getting some items that we can use to cook together. While she eats meat and I do not I'm sure we won't have a problem figuring it out. I'm not one of those grossed out by meat vegetarians. Meat is just something I don't eat but understand a person's own right to choose to eat it or not. Anyways. Having her as a support person already has been so helpful. It really is going to make this journey all the more meaningful to me. I will have my partner at home as a support person always, but to have a live in the flesh person going through the same thing is really different.
Sure, I have anxieties about the rumored heat or drawn out 2 hours plus classes with Boss himself. But right now it sounds so awesome! What a once in a lifetime experience for sure! Even though it seems like the whole point of training is boot camp style feeling like a newbie yoga classes, dialogue memorization and sleep deprivation; it still sounds awesome and I'm so stoked to start our journey. When you pole a group of teachers about their teacher training experience you will get a range of experiences. Some like it, some hate it, some love it and some are indifferent about it. One recent trainee describe it as uselessly hard. That may be. It is totally true that they can structure the training experience a whole heck of a lot differently. But they don't. I'm expecting teacher training to be full of a lot of unanswered questions that will be answered more or less on the job. Not to expect to learn how to properly time a class or transition throughout the postures. And that's ok. What I want from teacher training is a certificate to teach Bikram yoga anywhere in the world. And I've got to jump through their hoops to get it. And I will with my smiling happy face.
All that being said, it sounds so AWESOME to have my life centered around everything yoga and surviving bollywood movies. Not that I have a terribly hard life or anything. On the contrary. I'm so in love with life right now it's ridiculous. Life is super excellent right now. Teacher training often feels selfish to me. I have never gone on a vacation from life like this before. Even though he volunteered to take care of all the day to day stuff while I'm gone, I can't help but feel guilty at times for leaving my partner for 9 weeks! But it's part of my process. To think of myself first is not something that comes naturally to me. So TT will be a good exercise in that regard. Also not worrying or thinking about like what's for dinner and all that stuff is going to be different. I can't wait to not have to do housework.
That half marathon got me all sick this past week. Yoga def helped me feel better sooner and I'm thankful to be back on my feet and at work. I had a really interesting class the other day while I was really sick. It was the hardest in a lllllooooonnnnngggggg time for me. I had to sit out of the second set of awkward just to give you a little perspective of how it went for me. Hahahaha. But I survived, I recovered and I feel a shit ton better! Oh and let the work day count down begin!!!!! Only 26 more days left of work. Hell yes!!!!!
There's a lot of talk on the fall TT board about our anxieties about upcoming teacher training. No doubt I'm super duper nervous. Most of that is just not knowing what to expect. But knowing that I have a killer roomie is making it all the more easier to swallow. We are planning on getting some items that we can use to cook together. While she eats meat and I do not I'm sure we won't have a problem figuring it out. I'm not one of those grossed out by meat vegetarians. Meat is just something I don't eat but understand a person's own right to choose to eat it or not. Anyways. Having her as a support person already has been so helpful. It really is going to make this journey all the more meaningful to me. I will have my partner at home as a support person always, but to have a live in the flesh person going through the same thing is really different.
Sure, I have anxieties about the rumored heat or drawn out 2 hours plus classes with Boss himself. But right now it sounds so awesome! What a once in a lifetime experience for sure! Even though it seems like the whole point of training is boot camp style feeling like a newbie yoga classes, dialogue memorization and sleep deprivation; it still sounds awesome and I'm so stoked to start our journey. When you pole a group of teachers about their teacher training experience you will get a range of experiences. Some like it, some hate it, some love it and some are indifferent about it. One recent trainee describe it as uselessly hard. That may be. It is totally true that they can structure the training experience a whole heck of a lot differently. But they don't. I'm expecting teacher training to be full of a lot of unanswered questions that will be answered more or less on the job. Not to expect to learn how to properly time a class or transition throughout the postures. And that's ok. What I want from teacher training is a certificate to teach Bikram yoga anywhere in the world. And I've got to jump through their hoops to get it. And I will with my smiling happy face.
All that being said, it sounds so AWESOME to have my life centered around everything yoga and surviving bollywood movies. Not that I have a terribly hard life or anything. On the contrary. I'm so in love with life right now it's ridiculous. Life is super excellent right now. Teacher training often feels selfish to me. I have never gone on a vacation from life like this before. Even though he volunteered to take care of all the day to day stuff while I'm gone, I can't help but feel guilty at times for leaving my partner for 9 weeks! But it's part of my process. To think of myself first is not something that comes naturally to me. So TT will be a good exercise in that regard. Also not worrying or thinking about like what's for dinner and all that stuff is going to be different. I can't wait to not have to do housework.
That half marathon got me all sick this past week. Yoga def helped me feel better sooner and I'm thankful to be back on my feet and at work. I had a really interesting class the other day while I was really sick. It was the hardest in a lllllooooonnnnngggggg time for me. I had to sit out of the second set of awkward just to give you a little perspective of how it went for me. Hahahaha. But I survived, I recovered and I feel a shit ton better! Oh and let the work day count down begin!!!!! Only 26 more days left of work. Hell yes!!!!!
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