Wow! What a rush. I'm still coming down from participating in a half marathon on Saturday and my body is most definitely still in recovery mode. I'm planning on getting my butt to the hot room this week extra time for sure to speed this little physical recovery along. From what I have heard from others, long distance running like that puts micro tears all over your little leg muscles and it takes a while for your body to recover from all that. So no running for at least a week. But yoga...game on! It is during these times where you can really notice the difference between having a yoga practice and not. I'm 100% certain that our regular yoga practice helped me and my friend Katy stay calm during the hard times in the race, maintain a calm breath throughout the whole race and recover quicker after the race.
The night of the race I could barely put weight on my right leg. But I stretched and iced and anti inflamatoried up and felt loads better Sunday and tons better today. Still pretty sore but at least I'm not all swollen and in pain like I was Saturday night. It was such an amazing accomplishment and I'm so very proud of myself and my buddy, Katy. Seriously couldn't have done it by myself. Well, I'm sure I would've but it was so much more enjoyable with a buddy. If any of you out there are thinking of doing something like this I highly suggest partaking with a friend. I feel like I know Katy on a whole new level. I can certainly understand a little more why people bond so heavily during training. While I enjoyed the race, as hard as it was, I think I might stick to triathlons and 10K's. I might think about another half marathon after training and I might train a little differently than I did this time around. Maybe I'll do another one to see if I can beat my time or something like that. Time will tell.....
Being done with the half marathon makes me feel really relieved. I feel like it was kind of a heavy weight to carry. I'm a pretty busy chickadee outside of work and yoga and training for a half marathon with all the other stuff was kind of a lot you know. I'm happy to just be practicing, studying dialogue and baking. Those things I can for sure handle. Sunday was Brett and I's 2 year anniversary. We had a nice mellow time at home with the hounds and a home cooked meal. It was very pleasant. We talked some and he told me that it has been so very cool watching me do all these things and the confidence I gain from them as well. He said with each passing accomplishment he can see a noticeable difference in my confidence. Just the other day I was studying dialogue in our meditation closet and I stopped as I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I had this profound experience of thinking I looked beautiful and felt beautiful. I think I'm on to something here with this whole Bikram yoga teacher training business. Hmmmm.....
Monday, June 27, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Doe-Koo
Wow. What a week it's been for me. My days off this week have been spent in the kitchen baking yummy Shavi Snax for some awesome customers. It's been really really nice to have the baking support. Keeps me inspired to come up with new treats and yummies to bake in jars. I'll be posting a new cupcake item in the Shavi Snax store soon so check back there. I am also trying to think of something new to showcase at my upcoming bake sale at Cake Spy shop! Love that shop and it's owner, Jessie. She is majorly sweet and has a new book coming out. So proud of her!!!!
Now on to Bikram related stuff. Spring training is over and I can't believe it. Good for you guys! Way to go! hug stuff happening there for those people and I think it is just the coolest most inspiring thing ever. I wish them major luck and happiness. Just a couple short months and it's my turn. Wow. I can't believe I have the dialogue and everything. Planning on taking out a loan against my 401K for the remainder of the money I need for the full payment which is due by August 1st. Wow. Every time I look at a calendar it truly puts it all into perspective just how soon it will be for me to go. I'm like beyond excited about it. I can't wait for my life to be centered around yoga! So cool and I have confidence I will be able to make it work well for me being a Bikram yoga teacher. If I have to come back to my desk job for a while then that is fine, but the instant I can never set foot here again I'm doing just that for sure! I truly believe that this job is hurting my body. I think the 10 years of having a repetitive stress oriented desk job has affected my physical body in a bad way. I feel like my days off are spent repairing the damage done to it from sitting at a computer for 12 hours. If I work more than 1 day in a row my back totally hurts and complains about it then next days and then it takes me a few days to recover and then I'm back at a desk. I try my hardest to get up and walk around throughout the day but the majority of my time here is just spent at a desk plain and simple. And it's slowly injuring me. If I stay here I will have semi permanent back stuff and I don't wish that on my worst enemies, not that I have any of course. hahaha.
The other day in yoga, I had a very compelling experience with grief. And come to think of it I kinda know why. It's around the time of year that I lost the bestest friend I ever had...my first dog, Doe-Koo. He was an amazing hound and I loved him so much. His life was tragically cut short from some weirdo illness about 6 years ago. Wow...6 years...has it truly been that long... Putting him down was by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. To this day I still can't believe he is dead. He's in a box when he should be next to me hanging out with Pocket and Jimmy Legs. But he is not. His life should have been longer, much much longer, but it wasn't his truth and he faced death so gracefully. Made me proud. He did not fear life the way most of us do. When I was still in college studying to become a classical performance major, Doe-Koo would lay on his bed listening to me practice my little heart out. When I would stop for a break I would tell him that one day I would make him proud of me even though he already thought the world of me. I think what is most hard about loosing him when I did was about the person I was at that time in my life. I wasn't by any means the type of dog owner I am now. I was for the first few years we were together and then I changed. No need for the particulars cause it really doesn't matter. What matters is that I feel like he deserved better than what I gave him his last few years here. In all I wish I had spent more time with him. And so the other day in yoga I fucking lost it. I was a sobbing sweating mess on the floor towards the end of class. But what I realized is that I am doing just that for Doe-Koo now. I am making him proud of me for real this time. A geographical didn't do it. A break up didn't do it. An engagement and new dog didn't do it. I'm taking care of myself and following my heart even though I'm scared out of my mind. That is what he would be proud of. I'm the person today that I wish he could have known then. I think that is what makes me the most sorrowful when I think of Doe-Koo. The guilt of his final years is hard to bear sometimes, but I feel like I was able to let some of that grief go a little bit through yoga.
I have often said that Bikram yoga has been a conduit for self discovery and acceptance for me. I am able to better see myself without all the junk I tend to throw on top. Plain and simple me-ness is what I get from Bikram yoga. No bullshit. It's too hot in there for bullshit. And it's a lot easier when we can let go of all those physical and mental distractions we like to challenge ourselves with. When those things loosen their grasp and slowly fall away we can begin to see our true basic nature staring at us in the mirror. Sure I wish I could change the past, but I can only say sorry and do better next time. I'm a better person now because of Doe-Koo and also because of my own self work. That class showed me that I will always miss him but that I can be proud of the happy part I played in his life. Thanks so much little dinger for all the unconditional love. I will miss you always.
Now on to Bikram related stuff. Spring training is over and I can't believe it. Good for you guys! Way to go! hug stuff happening there for those people and I think it is just the coolest most inspiring thing ever. I wish them major luck and happiness. Just a couple short months and it's my turn. Wow. I can't believe I have the dialogue and everything. Planning on taking out a loan against my 401K for the remainder of the money I need for the full payment which is due by August 1st. Wow. Every time I look at a calendar it truly puts it all into perspective just how soon it will be for me to go. I'm like beyond excited about it. I can't wait for my life to be centered around yoga! So cool and I have confidence I will be able to make it work well for me being a Bikram yoga teacher. If I have to come back to my desk job for a while then that is fine, but the instant I can never set foot here again I'm doing just that for sure! I truly believe that this job is hurting my body. I think the 10 years of having a repetitive stress oriented desk job has affected my physical body in a bad way. I feel like my days off are spent repairing the damage done to it from sitting at a computer for 12 hours. If I work more than 1 day in a row my back totally hurts and complains about it then next days and then it takes me a few days to recover and then I'm back at a desk. I try my hardest to get up and walk around throughout the day but the majority of my time here is just spent at a desk plain and simple. And it's slowly injuring me. If I stay here I will have semi permanent back stuff and I don't wish that on my worst enemies, not that I have any of course. hahaha.
The other day in yoga, I had a very compelling experience with grief. And come to think of it I kinda know why. It's around the time of year that I lost the bestest friend I ever had...my first dog, Doe-Koo. He was an amazing hound and I loved him so much. His life was tragically cut short from some weirdo illness about 6 years ago. Wow...6 years...has it truly been that long... Putting him down was by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. To this day I still can't believe he is dead. He's in a box when he should be next to me hanging out with Pocket and Jimmy Legs. But he is not. His life should have been longer, much much longer, but it wasn't his truth and he faced death so gracefully. Made me proud. He did not fear life the way most of us do. When I was still in college studying to become a classical performance major, Doe-Koo would lay on his bed listening to me practice my little heart out. When I would stop for a break I would tell him that one day I would make him proud of me even though he already thought the world of me. I think what is most hard about loosing him when I did was about the person I was at that time in my life. I wasn't by any means the type of dog owner I am now. I was for the first few years we were together and then I changed. No need for the particulars cause it really doesn't matter. What matters is that I feel like he deserved better than what I gave him his last few years here. In all I wish I had spent more time with him. And so the other day in yoga I fucking lost it. I was a sobbing sweating mess on the floor towards the end of class. But what I realized is that I am doing just that for Doe-Koo now. I am making him proud of me for real this time. A geographical didn't do it. A break up didn't do it. An engagement and new dog didn't do it. I'm taking care of myself and following my heart even though I'm scared out of my mind. That is what he would be proud of. I'm the person today that I wish he could have known then. I think that is what makes me the most sorrowful when I think of Doe-Koo. The guilt of his final years is hard to bear sometimes, but I feel like I was able to let some of that grief go a little bit through yoga.
I have often said that Bikram yoga has been a conduit for self discovery and acceptance for me. I am able to better see myself without all the junk I tend to throw on top. Plain and simple me-ness is what I get from Bikram yoga. No bullshit. It's too hot in there for bullshit. And it's a lot easier when we can let go of all those physical and mental distractions we like to challenge ourselves with. When those things loosen their grasp and slowly fall away we can begin to see our true basic nature staring at us in the mirror. Sure I wish I could change the past, but I can only say sorry and do better next time. I'm a better person now because of Doe-Koo and also because of my own self work. That class showed me that I will always miss him but that I can be proud of the happy part I played in his life. Thanks so much little dinger for all the unconditional love. I will miss you always.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Bikram = Chiropractor
Just a little bake sale review before I begin here. The bake sale last weekend was a huge success! I made well over $100 and have some orders for whole pies here as well. We live in a high traffic area and most people passing by were unaware it was garage sale weekend. It made me think...maybe like once a month I should set up a table outside my building and sling some snax! What do you guys think?... My bake sale also reminded me that I have very supportive and very generous friends who understand that this is not only a passion of mine but also a way to help fundraise funds for Bikram yoga teacher training. Thanks goes out to all my friends and strangers who bought stuff from me. I really hope they liked what they got!
Now on to more important business. hahaha. I had the most interesting experience during class last night. During the entire standing series my back was popping into alignment like I was at the chiropractor. I started seeing a local chiropractor a few months back for my knee and I believe that helped set the stage for some natural corrections in my spine. I haven't been to the chiro in some time now. Just haven't felt like I needed it really. My knee is better and my posture is way improved which means I'm not experiencing a ton of back pain. I have really been working hard these past couple months during my classes. Just been feeling like I need to work harder. I have been getting great results from the little mental pushes. I call them mental pushes because my "working harder" in yoga means I'm mentally more commited to the postures and as a result I work harder physically. Tell the body what you want it to do sort of thing. My mind has been less likely to wander and complain lately. Bikram yoga was designed to help heal the spine and keep it healthy. A happy spine equals a happy life. So true I tell ya! So true! It was by far one of the coolest experiences I have had in yoga.
I simply can't believe that Spring training is already coming to an end. Those little trainees are graduating here in a couple days and even though I don't know a single one of them I feel like so proud of them or something. Not only is this a mile stone for me, cause it means I'm that much closer to teacher training, but it's just simply meaningful to me. I can't wait to read some helpful hints from those trainees to help me decide on what to pack! I truly wish them all the best of luck and hope they enjoyed training to the best of their ability.
I have been helping out at the front desk for sign in at my home studio while they have this coupon promotion going. It has been very cool seeing and practicing with all the newcomers. It provides a WAY different vibe to the hot room and it gives me some practice talking with people. I think what I love seeing most are people who are first timers transition to the front row. Maybe I notice it cause I'm a soon to be teacher and I notice newbies more than ever. But it is just a cool transformation to watch. That, and the lack of clothing. You can always spot a newish Bikram person by the amount of clothes they wear. The guys shirts come off and then eventually the ladies follow suit and practice in a smaller-ish top. Since I've been helping at the front desk there are more regulars asking me if I'm going to training, excited for me to start teaching, are you teaching yet...etc. This is such a HUGE confidence booster and makes me even more excited to get back to the SweatBox after training. Thanks so much guys!
Now on to more important business. hahaha. I had the most interesting experience during class last night. During the entire standing series my back was popping into alignment like I was at the chiropractor. I started seeing a local chiropractor a few months back for my knee and I believe that helped set the stage for some natural corrections in my spine. I haven't been to the chiro in some time now. Just haven't felt like I needed it really. My knee is better and my posture is way improved which means I'm not experiencing a ton of back pain. I have really been working hard these past couple months during my classes. Just been feeling like I need to work harder. I have been getting great results from the little mental pushes. I call them mental pushes because my "working harder" in yoga means I'm mentally more commited to the postures and as a result I work harder physically. Tell the body what you want it to do sort of thing. My mind has been less likely to wander and complain lately. Bikram yoga was designed to help heal the spine and keep it healthy. A happy spine equals a happy life. So true I tell ya! So true! It was by far one of the coolest experiences I have had in yoga.
I simply can't believe that Spring training is already coming to an end. Those little trainees are graduating here in a couple days and even though I don't know a single one of them I feel like so proud of them or something. Not only is this a mile stone for me, cause it means I'm that much closer to teacher training, but it's just simply meaningful to me. I can't wait to read some helpful hints from those trainees to help me decide on what to pack! I truly wish them all the best of luck and hope they enjoyed training to the best of their ability.
I have been helping out at the front desk for sign in at my home studio while they have this coupon promotion going. It has been very cool seeing and practicing with all the newcomers. It provides a WAY different vibe to the hot room and it gives me some practice talking with people. I think what I love seeing most are people who are first timers transition to the front row. Maybe I notice it cause I'm a soon to be teacher and I notice newbies more than ever. But it is just a cool transformation to watch. That, and the lack of clothing. You can always spot a newish Bikram person by the amount of clothes they wear. The guys shirts come off and then eventually the ladies follow suit and practice in a smaller-ish top. Since I've been helping at the front desk there are more regulars asking me if I'm going to training, excited for me to start teaching, are you teaching yet...etc. This is such a HUGE confidence booster and makes me even more excited to get back to the SweatBox after training. Thanks so much guys!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Bake Sale Extravaganza!!!
Well, here it is.... It's bake sale time people! This weekend is the Capitol Hill garage sale weekend and our building is participating. i thought this would be the perfect opportunity to try and raise some more funds for TT! I'm hoping it will be a success and that I sell out of everything i made. There will be pies for slices and cupcakes and also things in jars, like peach cobbler in a jar! oh yeah! So come buy this saturday June 11 10-3pm. I'll be the cute girl dressed in black on the corner of Bellevue ave E and Harrison. Come by and get some snax while you go garage saling! I'm not sure what is better than that.
On to Bikram/blog related items of thought recently. My future roomie alerted me to a cool blog from a current Spring trainee. It is an unbiased non-polished take on her Spring training experience. And as I write this I'm struck by the term her experience. I was getting all anxiety ridden when reading her posts. Needless to say they were kinda negative. Not a bad thing to hear at all. I currently follow a lot of Spring trainees blogs, I guess they've all expressed their negatives differently or something. Or maybe it was my jewelry crisis I have been dealing with since last night...So I'm a little in the negative myself. I went back and started her blog from the beginning to see where the shift happened for her. But I have yet to finish before I was blog inspired. I need to and I want to embark on my teacher training journey without expectations. Easier said than done. I expect to hear and see Bikram doing some crazy shit. And I also expect to not want to be at training any longer. But who knows maybe those things won't happen for me. All I know is that I want to approach this experience as my experience and to try not to bring with me the experiences of past trainees. Sure it helps to have suggestions on what to pack or how to cook in a hotel room. Other than that, the world is my hot playground...or something like that.
As I'm writing this I can see how this topic of "no expectations" relates to my relationship with my Bikram practice. When I go to class with little to no expectations, I'm more able to be in the moment and open to what comes up for me, both physical and emotional, during my practice. To further this mindset I think I might stop looking at who is teaching what classes. While we all have our preferred teachers, I truly love each teacher at the SweatBox, but they all have very different teaching styles. When you look at who is teaching the class you want to take then it kinda gives you a little prep outside the yoga room. I noticed that when I stopped telling myself before class, "man, it's gonna be a doosey cause of ......" I stopped having doosey of classes with those teachers. And when I drop my expectations of having a decent standing bow or not being able to execute triangle like I think I should be, I have a way better class. That's of course not to say that you should be judging your classes, right, cause the only bad yoga class is the one you didn't go to. My goal, for TT and my practice, is to try my best to not have any expectations.
On to Bikram/blog related items of thought recently. My future roomie alerted me to a cool blog from a current Spring trainee. It is an unbiased non-polished take on her Spring training experience. And as I write this I'm struck by the term her experience. I was getting all anxiety ridden when reading her posts. Needless to say they were kinda negative. Not a bad thing to hear at all. I currently follow a lot of Spring trainees blogs, I guess they've all expressed their negatives differently or something. Or maybe it was my jewelry crisis I have been dealing with since last night...So I'm a little in the negative myself. I went back and started her blog from the beginning to see where the shift happened for her. But I have yet to finish before I was blog inspired. I need to and I want to embark on my teacher training journey without expectations. Easier said than done. I expect to hear and see Bikram doing some crazy shit. And I also expect to not want to be at training any longer. But who knows maybe those things won't happen for me. All I know is that I want to approach this experience as my experience and to try not to bring with me the experiences of past trainees. Sure it helps to have suggestions on what to pack or how to cook in a hotel room. Other than that, the world is my hot playground...or something like that.
As I'm writing this I can see how this topic of "no expectations" relates to my relationship with my Bikram practice. When I go to class with little to no expectations, I'm more able to be in the moment and open to what comes up for me, both physical and emotional, during my practice. To further this mindset I think I might stop looking at who is teaching what classes. While we all have our preferred teachers, I truly love each teacher at the SweatBox, but they all have very different teaching styles. When you look at who is teaching the class you want to take then it kinda gives you a little prep outside the yoga room. I noticed that when I stopped telling myself before class, "man, it's gonna be a doosey cause of ......" I stopped having doosey of classes with those teachers. And when I drop my expectations of having a decent standing bow or not being able to execute triangle like I think I should be, I have a way better class. That's of course not to say that you should be judging your classes, right, cause the only bad yoga class is the one you didn't go to. My goal, for TT and my practice, is to try my best to not have any expectations.
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