Sunday, March 20th, was the end of my year to live practice. For an entire year, I lived my life as though it was my last. The practice is based upon a book by Stephen Levine called, A Year To Live. It's a super amazing experience to live life in that way, it was for me anyways and I want to do it again. The book is still a powerful read even if you don't want to live your life in that way. I'm sure the book is easy to find in your local hippie bookstore or on Amazon.com or something to that nature.
On Sunday my boyfriend and I went out to dinner at our local favorite vegan Thai restaurant, Araya's, for a celebration feast and to review our year to live. Needlesstosay, my boyfriend is now my fiancee! Hooray for that. The other surprise was icing on the cupcake sort of mind blowing. He had arranged for as many friends and family members available or willing to come to surprise me at the restaurant. He wanted to show me that I am not alone, will never be alone and do not have to fear dying alone. I sure have lucked out man, big time! What an amazing, thoughtful indescribable gesture. Even my most favorite terminally ill aunt came! I was speechless and tearless. Moved beyond words. I was completely surprised and it touches my heart more than I can explain.
I read in another blog somewhere (gosh darn it I can't remember the name of it!) about a woman who was having a hard time meeting people in a new city. She soon realized that she was constantly surrounded by family of another kind. She came to notice that she was surrounded by her Bikram family every time she practiced. The people she shares the hot room with were able to relate to and understand life from a Bikram yogi perspective and that is a huge connection factor for sure. My Bikram yoga family has seen me at my best, my worst and everywhere in between, as I have them. And, if able to land a teaching spot at my home studio, they will soon see me transition to the podium! What amazingness, right!!! It totally gives me chills. I feel connected to my yoga people and it is a majorly important connection for me. It truly keeps me coming back. If I had the choice between solo yoga and yoga with many, I would choose the yoga with many option thanks. I am eternally grateful for my Bikram yoga family. They inspire me every time I practice.
There were some things on my bucket list that were not accomplished, like learn Spanish, but there were also some unexpected things as well. Bikram yoga teacher training was the big one and quickly became an all consuming one. Since deciding to go last September, most of my time and thoughts have been about BYTT. Not that it's a bad thing, but life is a lot more than accomplishing goals. To me, it's about being ok with yourself and enjoying the Earth around you. I try to take time to smile at the sun when it shines on me or breathe in the wind as it tingles my exposed skin. I have noticed that I struggle more when I fight with the "rub" of life. When I take time to enjoy what is there, rather than what is not, life becomes more freeing, more of a dance. Bikram yoga most definitely is a practice surrounded by letting go and living with what you have that day. Some days I can touch my elbows to the floor in the sit up, other days I can't. What's important about that is there is not judgement for either physical state. The fact that I am there is celebration enough.
Loads of people are unable to have the gift of yoga in their life and I have found myself dedicating my yoga practice along with some Meta to those people. This thought for sure gets me to struggle harder and get up and do triangle. You've gotta give it away to keep it, right?... This next week, try taking a moment to enjoy what is around you rather than what isn't. And see how some dedication feels at the end of your yoga class or meditation. It's a truly wonderful gift to give.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Many Steps
It is my experience that many many many things lead up towards getting to Bikram yoga teacher training. I think the first, and most important, has been the 6-7 years of practice prior to the decision. I know, deep down in my heart of hearts, that my life will always be centered around yoga. It took me 6 years to finally think I am good enough to be a Bikram yoga teacher and that I need to go. I have had waves of "that would be cool to" thoughts but the negative Nancy voice I listened to for so long always won that decision out. Not this time. I can so I must, is the way I feel about it.
Sometimes it is hard talking to people at my day job about "what's new" with me. A lot of people don't understand yoga, let alone Bikram yoga, and then why one would want to leave a financially cushy job for a not so cushy not so stable seeming job. Really it doesn't matter if they get it or not, but the bigger reason is that I'm doing it for them. When and if they are ready for some hot yoga then I will be there on that podium telling them to push to their maximum and don't forget to breathe.
I'm a schedule person and lately I've been feeling a little overwhelmed and scattered in terms of my schedule. I work 12 hour days at my job and so those days are completely taken up by work. On my days off I try to fit in as much errands, yoga and marathon training in as I possibly can and I wasn't doing it very gracefully. My emotions have been high and I haven't been being a good dog mom either. So, I sat down with my awesome partner and made a schedule we could both work with and feel confident we were doing right by our dogs and our yoga practice. It was apparent in the schedule something had to give and that something was my volunteer shift at the Seattle aquarium. I knew this time was coming and was trying to hold out because I sincerely love going there. I do cleaning and feeding in a life science position in the pacific coral reef area of the aquarium and the biologists and divers I work with are so much fun to be around! Upon finding out I was resigning, and the reasons behind the decision, one of the biologists commented, "wow there must be a lot of steps getting to TT". There totally are and a lot of them have been crossed off the list or are fast approaching!
Aside from being only 6 months away!, the next major step is applying in May! May first I can send in my application and money to hold my spot and then I get the dialogue!!!!!!!! The steps after that are practice practice practice study study study dialogue dialogue dialogue....My friend Kim, who attended fall last year, told me the more I learn before training the better. After I get the dialogue, I will then be able to start learning the computer system at my studio and practice dialogue with one of the owners. The later steps get me all excited. Still and throughout all those steps is saving saving saving. According to my calculations at the current monthly savings I will be about 2.5K short of the full cost. Not too shabby but I still need some help. So, I have the half marathon June 24th, which I plan on asking people to sponsor me, there will be a pie vs cupcake bake sale late/mid July and Shavi Snax and Bikram or Bust shirts will be in full effect until the day I leave! Oh and then there is the plane tickets too and the personal leave from my job. So much to do! So visit my donation button or get some cool stuff from my etsy stores!
There have been so many steps leading up to teacher training, and while at times I've felt emotionally disturbed and discombobulated, I've thoroughly enjoyed every single solitary step. I'm so very blessed to have such an amazing support system who encourages me to follow my heart and work hard for it.
Sometimes it is hard talking to people at my day job about "what's new" with me. A lot of people don't understand yoga, let alone Bikram yoga, and then why one would want to leave a financially cushy job for a not so cushy not so stable seeming job. Really it doesn't matter if they get it or not, but the bigger reason is that I'm doing it for them. When and if they are ready for some hot yoga then I will be there on that podium telling them to push to their maximum and don't forget to breathe.
I'm a schedule person and lately I've been feeling a little overwhelmed and scattered in terms of my schedule. I work 12 hour days at my job and so those days are completely taken up by work. On my days off I try to fit in as much errands, yoga and marathon training in as I possibly can and I wasn't doing it very gracefully. My emotions have been high and I haven't been being a good dog mom either. So, I sat down with my awesome partner and made a schedule we could both work with and feel confident we were doing right by our dogs and our yoga practice. It was apparent in the schedule something had to give and that something was my volunteer shift at the Seattle aquarium. I knew this time was coming and was trying to hold out because I sincerely love going there. I do cleaning and feeding in a life science position in the pacific coral reef area of the aquarium and the biologists and divers I work with are so much fun to be around! Upon finding out I was resigning, and the reasons behind the decision, one of the biologists commented, "wow there must be a lot of steps getting to TT". There totally are and a lot of them have been crossed off the list or are fast approaching!
Aside from being only 6 months away!, the next major step is applying in May! May first I can send in my application and money to hold my spot and then I get the dialogue!!!!!!!! The steps after that are practice practice practice study study study dialogue dialogue dialogue....My friend Kim, who attended fall last year, told me the more I learn before training the better. After I get the dialogue, I will then be able to start learning the computer system at my studio and practice dialogue with one of the owners. The later steps get me all excited. Still and throughout all those steps is saving saving saving. According to my calculations at the current monthly savings I will be about 2.5K short of the full cost. Not too shabby but I still need some help. So, I have the half marathon June 24th, which I plan on asking people to sponsor me, there will be a pie vs cupcake bake sale late/mid July and Shavi Snax and Bikram or Bust shirts will be in full effect until the day I leave! Oh and then there is the plane tickets too and the personal leave from my job. So much to do! So visit my donation button or get some cool stuff from my etsy stores!
There have been so many steps leading up to teacher training, and while at times I've felt emotionally disturbed and discombobulated, I've thoroughly enjoyed every single solitary step. I'm so very blessed to have such an amazing support system who encourages me to follow my heart and work hard for it.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Tsunami Metta
Today I dedicated my practice to those unable to do yoga in Japan. In final savasana I also sent some Metta, loving-kidness, their direction.
Please do the same if you're able.
Please do the same if you're able.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Shavi Snax has arrived!!!
I post this update with mega proudness! Shavi Snax store is up and running on etsy!!!!!! Holy cow right??? I have always had a sweet spot for the baked goods ever since I was a kid and I have always prefed baking to cooking, unless it was cooking that involved baking it in the oven. hahaha. My favorite part about baking is giving my goods to people who I know will appreciate and enjoy them and so it feels a little weird to put a price on them and all. But hey, a girl's gotta get to Bikram yoga teacher training people!
Currently up for grabs is pie in a jar, whole wheat loaf bread and cupcakes in a jar. All vegan of course and all yums! For my international followers, so sorry but Shavi Snax only sells to US. I would hate for you to get a bummer cupcake in the mail. Nobody wants that. I'm planning more things for Shavi Snax, like jams more pies and cupcakes and some body stuffs. So keep checking the store and if you have any questions or special requests you can always ask!
Here is a quickie link to the store directly. Otherwise, just search for ShaviSnax on etsy.
This teacher training has certainly showed me how creative I can be for fundraising. It's been a totally awesome ride thus far and I'm so very excited for the spring trainees getting ready to enter the yoga bubble at training. I will cheer them on and follow their blogs and listen to their experience as I prep for my turn in the fall. Words can not describe the excitement and anticipation I feel at this juncture in my life. My year to live is almost up and so many things have happened within that time. 6 months in to my year to live project, I decided to go to TT and my whole outlook has changed. I no longer feel stuck and directionless in my job and I am so dearly excited to see what its like to be on the other side of Bikram yoga. Yay! Yay! and more YAY!
Thanks so much for all your support!!!!!
Currently up for grabs is pie in a jar, whole wheat loaf bread and cupcakes in a jar. All vegan of course and all yums! For my international followers, so sorry but Shavi Snax only sells to US. I would hate for you to get a bummer cupcake in the mail. Nobody wants that. I'm planning more things for Shavi Snax, like jams more pies and cupcakes and some body stuffs. So keep checking the store and if you have any questions or special requests you can always ask!
Here is a quickie link to the store directly. Otherwise, just search for ShaviSnax on etsy.
This teacher training has certainly showed me how creative I can be for fundraising. It's been a totally awesome ride thus far and I'm so very excited for the spring trainees getting ready to enter the yoga bubble at training. I will cheer them on and follow their blogs and listen to their experience as I prep for my turn in the fall. Words can not describe the excitement and anticipation I feel at this juncture in my life. My year to live is almost up and so many things have happened within that time. 6 months in to my year to live project, I decided to go to TT and my whole outlook has changed. I no longer feel stuck and directionless in my job and I am so dearly excited to see what its like to be on the other side of Bikram yoga. Yay! Yay! and more YAY!
Thanks so much for all your support!!!!!
Friday, March 4, 2011
Staying Healthy #2
I have a beautiful friend and her name is, Linea. She is a wonderful spirit who does loads of activism for mental health, especially in the area of teen diagnosis and advocacy. She knows first hand what it is like to live with a mental challenge, I don't like that term "illness" it just doesn't seem fitting. Linea lives a life with bipolar and it is a very powerful and motivating force within her. This is what I see when I look into her beautiful, kind face. Bipolar continues to show Linea, and myself, what is very very important to all people and that is to take care of yourself as a whole person. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. Sexually. Spiritually. Funnially. hehe. Humor is a major part of my mental health. I often see her challenges and triumphs sharing a common theme and that is to stay honest with what you are experiencing in life and find ways to live a healthy life in spite of those obstacles.
On my ride in to work this morning, I was thinking about how Bikram yoga helps me as a whole person. Bikram has often said, "tell them they will firm up their asses and in 6 months their whole life will be changed". So true. It's ok to come to yoga for those physical benefits. I do it still. But it is so much more than that for me and many other practitioners I have gotten to know throughout the years. Sure, they love their tight butts and rock hard thighs, but what keeps them coming back is what they can take off the mat and into their outside the yoga bubble lives. Bikram yoga has opened my mind and given me the platitude to explore things I was uncomfortable exploring before. Long-seated anger, rage and sadness around my childhood is a big one for me. Lots of healthy grieving has happened in those hot rooms. I have mourned many things while sweating my brains out. The lack of a happy childhood, unhappiness in general, depression, loosing a cherished pet and loosing friends who are still alive are some big ones to name a few. It has also been a place where I can express the overwhelming gratitude and happiness I have for my life right now. I am soooo in love with my life right now and it is overwhelming at many times. I find myself crying often because I feel so sensitive to the love in my life right now. It could also be from my year to live end coming up in a couple weeks. Whatever the rhyme or reason, Bikram yoga has helped me live a life open to life's experiences, whereas before I was numb and blinded about all aspects of my life.
It is so very important to care for our mental health because it often governs how we view ourselves and treat others in this world. Not that I want a per ma bliss life. I just want to cultivate openness to the many ways life is and be honest about what I am experiencing. If you want to check in with the mental health advocacy circuit then check out Linea's blog click here and here for Bring Change to Mind blog which has rotating contributors with excellent stories to share. And now let's do some yoga and send some metta to all people who live a life with mental health challenges.
On my ride in to work this morning, I was thinking about how Bikram yoga helps me as a whole person. Bikram has often said, "tell them they will firm up their asses and in 6 months their whole life will be changed". So true. It's ok to come to yoga for those physical benefits. I do it still. But it is so much more than that for me and many other practitioners I have gotten to know throughout the years. Sure, they love their tight butts and rock hard thighs, but what keeps them coming back is what they can take off the mat and into their outside the yoga bubble lives. Bikram yoga has opened my mind and given me the platitude to explore things I was uncomfortable exploring before. Long-seated anger, rage and sadness around my childhood is a big one for me. Lots of healthy grieving has happened in those hot rooms. I have mourned many things while sweating my brains out. The lack of a happy childhood, unhappiness in general, depression, loosing a cherished pet and loosing friends who are still alive are some big ones to name a few. It has also been a place where I can express the overwhelming gratitude and happiness I have for my life right now. I am soooo in love with my life right now and it is overwhelming at many times. I find myself crying often because I feel so sensitive to the love in my life right now. It could also be from my year to live end coming up in a couple weeks. Whatever the rhyme or reason, Bikram yoga has helped me live a life open to life's experiences, whereas before I was numb and blinded about all aspects of my life.
It is so very important to care for our mental health because it often governs how we view ourselves and treat others in this world. Not that I want a per ma bliss life. I just want to cultivate openness to the many ways life is and be honest about what I am experiencing. If you want to check in with the mental health advocacy circuit then check out Linea's blog click here and here for Bring Change to Mind blog which has rotating contributors with excellent stories to share. And now let's do some yoga and send some metta to all people who live a life with mental health challenges.
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